While I'm Waiting...

So-I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and everything was "the same" and at this point for us no change is seen as good news. All other organs were down where they should be and he passed his "movement, practice breathing and heart rate" screen again. I go back again for our FINAL ultrasound this coming Monday before his birthday on Wednesday! I am currently struggling to not let fear of the "unknown" creep back in. Today is day 10, of the 7-10 days it takes to get the results of the amnio back. I called my OB's office at 10:30 (knowing that they only work until noon) and the nurse said that they had already called the lab to check, and that the tech was "hopeful" she would have the results back by lunchtime but if not then we would know on Monday. From my prospective...really easy to say because you haven't been the Mama sitting at home for the last 10 days waiting on the results. The nurse kindly reminded me that doing an amnio on a later term baby makes having "viable cells" harder...more difficult to grow and just because it's taking longer doesn't mean that it's bad news. Again, from my prospective, easier for her to say from her end of the conversation...oh and "have a good weekend, we'll see you Monday"...still waiting

And waiting...my heart is so full as I type this. Part of me wishes that my OB had chosen today to be our delivery day (it was one of the two options), because by now, Preston Banks would be a little over 7 hours old, I could see pictures of him, be on my way to recovery enough to maybe even have been to the NICU by now. I could KNOW how stable he is, I could KNOW if he had to go on ECMO right away, I could KNOW how much he weighs, how much hair he has-if any, and if he looks like Mary Wallace did when she was born (minus the conehead-thanks to a c-section this time...I needed to laugh!)...I could KNOW a little more about the status of the lung tissue that we are concerned about...and the list goes on of things I could KNOW if today were his birthday. But instead I wait...I want to see my baby boy so bad I can hardly stand it!

Please pray for us as this is our last weekend as a "family of 3"! I had great plans to go to the zoo, Mary Wallace's favorite, but it's supposed to rain Saturday AND Sunday-so we will have lots of indoor fun. Pray for us as we anticipate the change that will come next Wednesday, both with the addition Preston Banks and the drastic change in our schedule with going back and forth between the NICU and home and trying to have some kind of routine with Mary Wallace. Please pray that Daniel and I will communicate well in the days and weeks to come, that we will serve each other and Mary Wallace selflessly. Please pray that Preston Banks' heart and lungs will be "strong and courageous". And please pray that God will use us to minister to someone, some how along this journey. We just want others to know how BIG our God is and how He has already provided for us and our baby boy isn't even here yet...also, pray for the bittersweet change of not having my Nana around. As many of you know, my Nana passed away early Sunday morning after a courageous battle with cancer. Her strength, faith in God and the legacy she leaves behind-I will always cherish. And for those of you who know my Nana, you know that she was ALWAYS there for every "life event"...the big ones and the small ones... and ALWAYS early...Calling to see how her "doll baby" Mary Wallace was doing, even on days that she felt so nauseated and sick. Not having her at the hospital, or calling to check in is going to be very hard for me...because she was ALWAYS there. But I rejoice in knowing that Nana is with Jesus, and will be looking out for Preston Banks with the glory of heaven all around her!

While I'm waiting...I am making choices. I choose to trust God for His best for me, my family and my baby boy. I choose to keep my thoughts on His promises. I choose to not fear.

PS We did ponder changing his name to incorporate Joshua somehow, but we (and you) have prayed for him by name for so long that it didn't seem right...but Joshua 1:9 will be his life verse, and thanks to Rachel, it's in a frame in his room...with a sailboat to match his nursery!